Thought Minion

"...You're just as wet as the evening rain...

...Soft and wet (U know)
You are soft and wet (Oh, sugar)
Your love is soft and wet
Soft and wet"
~ The man formally known as "The Symbol"

I'm very picky about my porn and I took a lot of time picking out my purchase and then it was bad. ~Melissa

Bad porn is one thing... but there is no excuse for horrible porn. I know, I know, you're thinking... "Jer, it's PORN, what the hell do you expect?"

Well, I've pounded pondered that question in my head brain for sometime now...

I've cum come to this conclusion, I want it to be believable porn. I don't want to see some woman rolling her eyes in the back of her head, making some kind of face that she just had the Mt. Saint Helens' orgasm, and/or squirming like a fish out of water when she's.... well, hell, she wasn't doing a damn thing but sitting there.

It's what Mel and I term, posed porn. The type of porn that says "let's just stare at the camera while we do things." or "I'll pretend I'm enjoying this so much even though I'm as dry as the Sahara".

Hell, I was wetter than the woman we watched in the movie. (snort) TMI?

Meanwhile, you're sitting there with your beautiful love... wanting to take the mood this movie is supposed to provide and make it your own... and yet, the only thing I had going for me at that moment was some new lines for some comedy club.

One other thing, what the hell are these director's thinking with the facial visual expressions that don't even appear sexy. One woman made a look like she was about to tear into skin with her teeth. I don't know about you... but there isn't any muscle limb or part of my body going near a woman's mouth with that blood lust craving type of look.

I bow to thee Ms. Piranha. Just back away from flesh and quietly exit the room.

Now here is the sad part... you ready? Okay... here it goes... I saw a better sex act on primetime TV on the new show "HOUSE".

This young thing rode her man right into the hospital. Now that was impressive... (Well, it wasn't her fault... but totally beside the point).

Unfortunately, there is no big mind blowing statement to leave you with...

I'm just happy to see that you're still alive Jer.
Also, I am a bit confused about you two actually paying for porn?

What about the noises they make? Oh, oh, oh, yes, yes, yes, a million times. Oh, c'mon!

what I hear when that happens is... "ohh...ohhh...god... (it's almost over).... yes... yes... ohhhhh yesssss"

Ha! That's true.

I remember one where the couple was doing anal, doggy-style. The woman is going "yes, yes, yes, oh God, oh yes and all that but she was CLEARLY in pain. She kept reaching back and sort of pushing the guy away and you could just see it in her eyes. They wound up making a loop out of what footage they could get - you could really tell.

Yes, yes, yes (YOU'RE KILLING ME!!!)